In The Beginning
In The Beginning
In the beginning, God created the mule, and told him, "You will be a mule, working constantly from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will live for 40 years." The mule replied, "Lord, to live like that for 40 years is too much. Give me no more than 20." And it was so.
Then God created the dog, and told him, "You will hold vigilance over the dwellings of Man, to whom you will be his greatest companion. You will eat his table scraps and live for 25 years." And the dog responded,"Lord, to live 25 years as a dog like that is too much. Please, make it no more than 10 years." And it was so.
God then created the monkey, and told him, "You are a monkey. You shall swing from tree to tree, acting like an idiot. You will be funny, and you shall live for 20 years." And the monkey said, "Lord, to live 20 years as the clown of the world is too much. Please, Lord, give me no than 10 years." And it was so.
Finally, God created Man and told him, "You are Man, the only rational being that walks the earth. You will use your intelligence to have mastery over all the creatures of the world. You will dominate the earth and live for 20 years." And the man responded, "Lord, certainly to be Man for only 20 years is too little. Please, Lord, give me the 20 years the mule refused, the 15 years the dog declined, and the 10 years the monkey rejected." And it was so.
So God made Man to live 20 years as a man, then marry and live 20 years like a mule, working and carrying heavy loads. Then, he is to have children and live 15 years more as a dog, guarding his household and eating only their leftovers after they empty the pantry; and then, in his old age, to live 10 years as a monkey, acting like an idiot to amuse his grandchildren. And it became so.
Uncategorized | Comment (0)Dog’s letters to God
Dear God,
How come people love to smell flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? Where are their priorities?
Dear God,
When we get to Heaven, can we dogs sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?
Dear God,
Excuse me, but why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not one named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! I know every breed cannot have its own model, but it would be easy to rename the Chrysler Eagle the Chrysler Beagle!
Dear God,
If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God,
When my foster mom’s friend comes over to our house, he smells like musk! What’s he been rolling around in?
Dear God,
Is it true that in Heaven, dining room tables have on-ramps?
Dear God,
More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God,
When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?
Dear God,
We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
Dear God,
Are there dogs on other planets, or are we alone? I have been howling at the moon and stars for a long time, but all I ever hear back is the beagle across the street!
Dear God,
Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God,
Is it true that dogs are not allowed in restaurants because we can’t make up our minds what NOT to order? Or is it the carpets again?
Dear God,
When my family eats dinner they always bless their food. But, they never bless mine. So, I’ve been wagging my tail extra fast when they fill my bowl. Have you noticed MY blessing?